The Anxiety of Noon

Alright, so I should preface things this way. I have one HUGE fear in my life: that being the fear of being late. This was ingrained in me at a very young age, and has stuck with me- regardless of how much I've tried to rid myself of it. My parents have always lived by the belief that one must figure out how long travel time is to a destination, and tack on an extra half hour of leeway time- in case of unforeseen problems (traffic, etc). It seems incredibly sensible at first thought; but believe me, there's a downside. I was always the FIRST kid to arrive at birthday parties: which was good at the time, because I could scarf down all the snacks set out before the other kids got their crusty mitts all over them. But I was also always early to school, choir practice, doctor's appointments, and the dinner table (the former may have been a personal choice).

That said, today I woke up at 7:30am -as my body is predisposed to even being early for my alarm clock. Knowing that I still had a good hour and a half before the clock would chime it's romantic alarm buzz, I decided to fall back asleep. Fast forward to me waking up to silence, and calmly glancing at my alarm clock beside my bed. To my dismay- it read 12:03PM (I was to be at work for 11AM). You can imagine the pang of distress as my feet thumped the floor, and I scurried around my apartment to grab my phone. The entire time, internal dialogue in my head is screaming "YOU'RE SO FIRED". I dialed my restaurant, and conveniently the newly hired hostess answered - and put me on hold for what seemed like a decade before I was able to speak with a manager. Finally, the general manager answered, and I explained my situation in a manner that resembled most people's reactions to 9/11. He then asked me what time I was supposed to be at work- to which I replied "11AM". At that point, there was a long silence, and my manager replied, "Cory, slow down, catch your breath, and make yourself a coffee.. it's 8:59"- this was followed by hysterical laughter at my expense. Turns out, I woke up a second time too early for my faithful alarm clock- and somehow had been looking at the secondary alarm settings which read "12:02PM". 30 seconds after hanging up, my alarm clock went off.

I'm going to chock up this experience to lack of nutrients to the brain due to a restrictive diet. With that in mind, I ate a piece of whole grain toast this morning: I figured I deserved it.