The Anxiety of Noon

Alright, so I should preface things this way. I have one HUGE fear in my life: that being the fear of being late. This was ingrained in me at a very young age, and has stuck with me- regardless of how much I've tried to rid myself of it. My parents have always lived by the belief that one must figure out how long travel time is to a destination, and tack on an extra half hour of leeway time- in case of unforeseen problems (traffic, etc). It seems incredibly sensible at first thought; but believe me, there's a downside. I was always the FIRST kid to arrive at birthday parties: which was good at the time, because I could scarf down all the snacks set out before the other kids got their crusty mitts all over them. But I was also always early to school, choir practice, doctor's appointments, and the dinner table (the former may have been a personal choice).

That said, today I woke up at 7:30am -as my body is predisposed to even being early for my alarm clock. Knowing that I still had a good hour and a half before the clock would chime it's romantic alarm buzz, I decided to fall back asleep. Fast forward to me waking up to silence, and calmly glancing at my alarm clock beside my bed. To my dismay- it read 12:03PM (I was to be at work for 11AM). You can imagine the pang of distress as my feet thumped the floor, and I scurried around my apartment to grab my phone. The entire time, internal dialogue in my head is screaming "YOU'RE SO FIRED". I dialed my restaurant, and conveniently the newly hired hostess answered - and put me on hold for what seemed like a decade before I was able to speak with a manager. Finally, the general manager answered, and I explained my situation in a manner that resembled most people's reactions to 9/11. He then asked me what time I was supposed to be at work- to which I replied "11AM". At that point, there was a long silence, and my manager replied, "Cory, slow down, catch your breath, and make yourself a coffee.. it's 8:59"- this was followed by hysterical laughter at my expense. Turns out, I woke up a second time too early for my faithful alarm clock- and somehow had been looking at the secondary alarm settings which read "12:02PM". 30 seconds after hanging up, my alarm clock went off.

I'm going to chock up this experience to lack of nutrients to the brain due to a restrictive diet. With that in mind, I ate a piece of whole grain toast this morning: I figured I deserved it.

New Layouts and Panic Stricken Awakening

Morning Skinabees!
So, as you may have noticed, things look a lot nicer around here, thanks my tom foolery efforts of boredom yesterday!

This morning I woke in an EXTREME state of panic- and have a whole story to tell you about later on today- you're going to laugh like a person who mistakenly got their voice box replaced with that of a hyena's.

More on that after the work day!

Broken Promises, and My Mother's Crushed Dreams

Hey All,
Long time no see! For those of you who have been checking back here, and looking for new posts- I want to thank you so much for your loyalty! I'm going to give you all an update on my skinabee life over the past few days, and a half ass explanation as to why I've disappeared like a Spice Girl about to embark upon a world tour (that's a shout out to you, Ginger).

So first thing's first- I've lost TEN POUNDS in 2 WEEKS! It's been trying at times, and I'm not going lie to you and say I didn't cheat. I'm human (or atleast I pretend to be). There were a couple days when the pizza place near my house was serenading me with promises of bountiful taste sensations, and regret-free eating- and I gave in. Much to my dismay, the slices I consumed were neither regret-free nor taste sensations. You see, the place I go to: cleverly called "Tony and Nick's" is a shady hole in the wall pizza joint- which also specializes in veal sandwiches and hamburgers. Normally when I go, there's a pleasant slightly over the hill woman with a Farrah Fawcett hairstyle that refuses to coincide with her head movements due to the massive amount of
"The Dry Look" she most undoubtbly doses her mane with each and every day. However, lately when I've gone in- it's been Farrah's day off. Instead, I am greeted by a man with enough chest hair to compile a fine persian rug. Now, I'm not sure if this man is either "Nick" or "Tony", but I am sure of one thing- if it indeed IS "Nick" or "Tony", they are in no shape to be owning a restaurant. So far in the 2 times I've encountered Harry and The Henderson- I've had the pleasure of seeing him smoke while slapping my pizza slice in the oven, and had a peek at his shapely physique while changing for his shift (all in the kitchen area, I might add). You'd think that those 2 things alone would stop me from taking the risk of biting into my forbidden pizza pie, but no.. one thing about us fat kids is: if we get food in our plump filangies- you best consider it consumed. That said, I think I'm now finally done with Tony and Nick for quite sometime- or atleast until Farrah is back in the picture.

Now, as for the explanation for my absence. I live in an "eclectic" building on the west side of Toronto. I have a bachelor apartment, which means I can literally see my kitchen sink from my bed (which has it's disadvantages). Anyway, when I moved in last December, I was promised an internet connection as part of the $700 a month rent agreement. Well, in March- that agreement was finally honoured (for 2 weeks).. upon which point, the internet disappeared. After much questioning, and persistance, I have yet to receive an explanation for the shady world wide web connection- but after some vigourous Nancy Drew detective work: I think it comes down to the landlords not paying their bill. That said, my crafty hacker skills have finally paid off (skills that were refined over time with countless computer bills- mostly taken care of by my father over my childhood years).. and I've landed a connection from some unsuspecting victim across the street from me. Note to unsuspecting victim: thanks for accomodating me, and your cheque is in the mail! So that's that. I hope to have a consistant daily update for you all from now on- but rest assured, you'll always be kept in the know!

Thanks for reading skinabees, I've missed you!

XO

Oh, and for those of you who want to witness Tony and Nick's to it's fullest:
http://maps.google.ca/maps?layer=c&cbll=43.649635,-79.431241&cbp=12,,,1,&ved=0CBsQ2wU&sa=X&ei=Du3dS4PaCpaqM93X9KMI